TBOPK
by Shorty6
Summary: okay people, i'm constantly having to shorten my story titles because i'm afraid of being suspended on my acount again but e-nuff about that! this story is well...funny! oh! it's about the gundam gang and their women's trip to a beach resort. don't forget


The beach of perverted kisamas  
  
Relena was sitting in front of her mirror and brushing her hair. She'd looked over what she was wearing 1 million times, which a tank top, which was covering a bikini top and a pair of shorts which were covering a bikini bottom. She put her brush down and looked behind her at her stuffed-to-the- top heavy bags. Her and her unbelievably hansom, cute, adorable and all that other stuff husband and her cute little daughter, Heero and Ellen for short, were going on vacation. Along with Duo, Hilde, the prince of darkness, Trowa, Catherine, Quatre, Dorothy, Wufei, and Sally. She smiled to herself since it had been a long time since she had a chance to do this. She counted the seconds as she heard little footsteps, followed by fairly big footsteps coming up the carpeted stairs, which, mind you, were not spiral.  
  
The door burst open and in ran the cutest little brown haired; green eyed 4 year-old, Ellen. Relena looked around…she didn't see Heero at all. There was a knock on the open door and there he stood. Wearing a loud orange Hawaiian shirt, a pair of tan shorts, shades and a HUGE camera around his neck. Relena sighed, "Aren't you a bit over dressed?" "How so?" he asked. "Simple, loose the camera and put on a quieter shirt," Relena replied. Heero twisted up his mouth, "women have no taste." "I'm just helping you out Heero." Heero rolled his blue eyes and left.  
  
  
  
Ellen walked up behind her, "Okaasan?" "Yes Ellen?" Relena said, smiling down at her. "What happened to Otousan?" she asked. Relena had just remembered Ellen was learning Japanese. "He's alright, Ellen." "ELLEN!!!!!" "Hai, Otousan?" Ellen answered, using her knowledge of Japanese. "CAN YOU COME HELP DADDY WITH SOMETHING?!" Ellen smiled and skipped out the room, "daijobou, Otousan!!" Relena sighed, "him and his little Japanese language. Sooner or later I won't be able to understand my own daughter…" "YO, RE- RE!!!!!!" That voice could only be coming from out the window and could only belong to Duo Maxwell. Relena opened the window and looked out, "hi Duo!" Duo grinned, "You got your suntan lotion?" "How could I forget? I have it," Relena replied. "Where's that  
  
baka yarro husband of yours?" Duo asked. Heero pushed Relena over and looked out the window, "OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!" Relena scratched her head, "what does that mean?" "Fine kisama," Duo said under his breath. "I AM NOT!!!!" Heero yelled. Duo scratched his head, wondering how he heard him.  
  
Ellen crawled onto the bed and joined her mother and father at the side of the bed by the window. "Ohaiyo, Duo-san!" Ellen smiled. "Hi Ellen! You ready to go to the beach?" Ellen nodded, "yup!" Relena noticed Heero had decided to wear blue trunks and a yellow, loose, unbuttoned, short-sleeved shirt that was calm…not loud or soft just calm. Relena was used to this…  
  
When it was almost time to go and everyone who was going was there, Relena stood in front of her bags and then looked at Heero. "What?" he asked. "Go ahead, take my bags downstairs," she said. "I just took down mine and Ellen's! Why do I have to take yours down?!" Heero asked in an annoyed tone. Relena twirled a piece of her hair around her finger, "because half of the things in those bags are full of the lingerie YOU want me to wear. Remember? Everything comes with a price, Heero." "Ittaizentai kawaii," Heero replied in Japanese. Relena sighed, "What did you say?" "I said 'whatever darling'. You seriously need to learn this stuff." Relena folded her arms and walked out the room, "ittaizentai, Heero-sama." Heero just stared at her as she ran down the stairs.  
  
Relena walked outside and stretched; feeling the wind between her toes through her sandals felt nice. She wiggled her toes again and smiled as Catherine and her daughter, Teresa, approached her. Catherine smiled that same smile and said, "morning Relena." "So who's going with who?" Relena asked. "Well I was figuring all the kids would go with Dorothy since she's so good with kids, " Catherine replied, scratching her head. Teresa smiled, "yay! I get to go with auntie Dorothy!!!" Catherine looked down at her, "yes and you get to go with Ellen and Damien and Christie and Chang Shou- dan too." Relena pondered, "isn't Chang Shou-dan Wufei's 3 year-old?" "Technically it isn't Wufei's it's Sally's. But I still can't believe Wufei had a baby with his own boss…" Catherine said looking at her feet. Teresa looked around and walked over to Christie, Dorothy and Quatre's daughter. Meanwhile, Heero tossed the bags into the trunk and sighed, "Curse my pervertic ways…" Relena walked up to him, "you alright Heero? You don't look so good…" "Nah, I'm okay. Don't worry about it. So where's Ellen?" Heero asked. Suddenly a white puppy ran out of the backyard and almost knocked Heero down. Heero had to hold the thing up to keep it from licking his face off. Heero smiled up at it, "hey Snowball!" "Now that I think about it, who's gonna take care of the dog?" Relena asked. "I got it all under control, dun worry about it." Heero took the dog back into the backyard after letting it say goodbye to Ellen.  
  
At about 10:00 (did I mention they were up early?) they were all ready to do. The kids rode in Dorothy's blue Volkswagen buggy car thingy, the girls rode in Heero and Relena's Benz for the sake of space and the boys rode in Heero and Relena's Jaguar. It was a 5-hour drive so by the time they got there the kids were asleep. The adults would've been out if it weren't for the music. They got there at about 2:00 and parked by the beach. Relena opened the door and stood up. Up on top of the hill was the resort. Being she was the Vice Foreign Minister, she and Heero got the suite with a perfect view of the ocean, which meant candle lighted sunsets, early morning sunrises and moonlight walks across the sand for 2 whole weeks. Of course the other rooms had a nice view off a balcony but their room had a bigger bed, a shower room that looked like a closet and a table right in the middle of the balcony. Aside from all that all the rooms were the same.  
  
Relena pulled the bags out of the trunk and set them down in front of Heero, "you know your duty Heero. Do it and do it well!" Heero sighed and picked up the bags, "Relena, just for that I'm gonna make it hurt tonight." "Oh Heero…have you forgotten?" Relena said with an innocent look, "you know I like it rough…" Heero stood in one place for a minute and smirked, "how could I forget…?" Ellen crawled out of the car with the help of her favorite person in the whole world, Damien. He was 7years older than her but she liked him a lot. "Thank you Damien," Ellen said with a slight blush. "Ah don't worry about it. Now I have to go torture my dad. See ya Ellen!" Damien smiled, running off to do his duty. Ellen touched both her cheeks and squealed. Everyone was so tired they all took a nap and they all woke up at either 7:00 or later. No one in their right mind was going outside. The tide had rolled in as it always did at night.  
  
The next morning Relena opened her eyes slowly, feeling a tad bit cold and drowsy. She looked beside her and saw Heero. He was asleep or maybe he passed out? She sat up and pulled the sheet up to her neckline, giving Heero and shove. He opened his eyes and sat up, "what?" "It's morning already. It feels like only 5 minutes ago I fell asleep." "Same here," Heero said with a yawn. Then there was a tiny knock at the door, which could only belong to one person…Ellen. Relena looked around and then back at Heero, "what am I supposed to do?" "Keep the covers like that, I'll just hide under here." "You're so lucky. THE DOOR'S OPEN ELLEN!!!!" Relena called. The door opened slowly and Ellen walked in with her little red polka dotted dress/bathing suit and sandals. Along with a shovel and a pail. "Mommy, Daddy you said we were gonna go to the beach with everyone else today. You promised!" Ellen whined. Relena rubbed her head, "and we still are. Mommy and Daddy just woke up." Ellen jumped onto the bed and crawled up to Relena. "Can we go NOW?!" Relena shook her head, "no we can't go NOW." Heero grabbed his daughter and laid her across the bed. "If you keep being obnoxious you aren't going. Clear?" Heero said with that little fatherly tone of his. Ellen frowned, "hai Otousan." "Good. Now go back to Dorothy and tell her I said we'll be down shortly, okay?" Ellen nodded and jumped off the bed. Relena yawned nice and loud, "we should go now, eh?" Heero grabbed a pillow and threw it at her, "go back to sleep."  
  
  
  
Heero put on his shades as the sun started to get to him. He walked across the hot sand barefoot for some reason. Everyone had already gotten down there and had set up everything so Heero and Relena had their own mat already. Heero sat down as Duo walked up to him and grinned. "Enjoying the sun?" he asked. "No," Heero answered. Duo pulled out a big umbrella and stuck it in the sand. That gave Heero a lot of shade. "Better?" Duo asked. "Much better," Heero replied, sitting back. Duo smirked, "as long as the king of all kisamas is comfortable." Unluckily for Heero, Duo was out of there before Heero could swing a punch. Suddenly, almost every man's attention was turned left. Heero had to see what was going on so he looked too. It was a woman. Three was nothing special about her but it was what she was wearing. A red rose marked bikini with a see-through skirt tied around her waist and a pair of red stilettos. Her skin was oh so shiny due to her suntan lotion along with her waist long tan hair. Shades were the only thing that made Heero unsure of who it was. She stopped on front of Heero and took off her shades. " Ta da!!!!" It was Relena.  
  
"Relena!" Heero yelled. "What?" Relena replied. Heero pointed at the line of kids to the left, "not in front of the kids." Relena folded her arms under her chest (it was impossible for her to fold her arms over them) and smirked. "Like they understand," Relena shot back. Damien walked up to her and smiled, "morning Mrs. Yuy. My aren't we looking hooker-ish today." "Oh hush, Damien," Relena said, taking a seat next to Heero. "Makes me wonder," Damien said, folding his arms. Relena smiled, "what?" "What in the world do we need beach balls for?" Damien curved his fingers like he was squeezing something, "we have too huge ones right there." Relena covered her chest and pouted, "Damien shut up!" Hilde walked up behind Damien and grabbed him by the back of his tank shirt. "Damien stop being a hentai!" she said, carrying him away. "Aww mom! But they are huge!!!" Damien whined. Relena sighed and fell onto her back. Heero scratched his head, "y' know he is right, Relena." Relena threw her shades at him, "shut up Heero."  
  
It was an hour later and they'd already started to settle into the sun. Heero had fallen asleep with a straw hat over his face and suntan lotion all over him, thanks to Relena. Relena, on the other hand, was sitting on her fold out chair, reading a magazine. If Relena had counted right, 25 men had asked her out but were turned away by a quick flash of her diamond ring and a pointed thumb. But the 26th kisama was persistent. He kept trying to persuade her with things like "forget about your husband!" or "he's asleep, I'll have you back before he even knows you were gone!" but the last and the one he just said really got Relena to the point of brutality. "Why don't we just go back to my room and I'll show you what real love is". Now Relena, deep down inside, was thinking, 'I already have real love you kisama!!!!' but she kept her cool and lowered her shades. Ellen was digging up sand near by, but close enough to hear her mother. Relena looked towards Ellen, "Ellen baby…do you think it would be okay if mommy went away with this kisama?" Ellen looked up and walked over to the guy. She folded her arms and pouted, "I don't know but I'm bored." Relena smiled, "just as I thought. Heero what do you think? Can I?" Under the straw hat came an angry grunt and then Heero tripped him with his foot. Heero sat up and took the hat off his face. He stood up and looked over him, "do it. Make my day. Touch my woman." The guy looked like he'd just seen a ghost after Heero sported his lovely little death glare. His blue eyes were so icy and angry at the same time it was scary. The guy scrambled and scurried away like a mouse. Heero took his seat next to Relena and kissed her on the cheek. "You okay?" he asked. Relena rested her magazine on her lap, "I'm okay. Don't worry about me Heero. By the way thank you. He was getting on my nerves." Heero brushed her bangs away and kissed her on her forehead. "You're welcome. Now…if I can just find that dream again…" "What did you dream about?" Relena asked, putting on the straw hat. Heero pulled her down a bit and told her in her ear. Relena gasped and smacked him in his face. She ran away yelling, "HEERO YOU BIG HENTAI!!!!!!" Heero rubbed his cheek, "sheesh. It's not like we don't do that every night. Touch-y."  
  
Relena had got over her little heart attack and went back but Heero was gone. She looked around and sat down, "I wonder where he went…" A little Chinese girl in a Chinese bathing suit and the cutest little brown eyes walked up to her. "Hewwo Mrs. Relena. Are you wooking for Mr. Heero?" she asked. Relena nodded, "yeah do you know where he went?" Shou-dan nodded, "he's pwaying beach bawll. He's over there." Relena looked in the direction Shou-dan was pointing in. Relena blushed at the sight. Heero looked so cute when he played beach sports. He looked like someone dumped water on him. Relena fell back and smiled. She closed her eyes but her thoughts were cut off by a beach ball in the nose. "OWWWW!!!!!!" she screamed. Heero ran up to her, "Relena, you alright?" Relena held her nose, "aside from my bleeding nose…I'm okay." "Oh okay. As long as you're okay." Relena picked up the ball and stood up. "You'd better run until you can't run any more!!!!!!!" Heero looked around for a place to run. It was a pretty picture when Relena was mad.  
  
Relena held the ball in the air and chased him around with it. She was so upset it almost looked like fire was coming out of her nose. "AHHHH! GET HER AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Heero yelled. Relena waited until he was far away enough to make a hard hit. Relena tossed the ball into the air and jump kicked it to the back of his head. Heero fell flat on his face. "KUSO!!!!!" Relena walked up to him and put a foot on his back. "Never mess with me again, Heero Yuy, or there will be dire consequences, got that?" Relena stated with a sneer. Heero nodded, his cheek rubbing the hot sand. Relena smiled and walked away. Heero smirked, 'oh you will pay for that Miss Relena. Don't expect not to,' he thought.  
  
Relena had fallen asleep around 5:00. She was having a dream about rice crackers and gumdrops. She licked her lips in her sleep and smiled. Unfortunately for her she was awakened by cold water coming from a super- soaker. All the water was aimed at her chest so whoever did that was a hentai. She opened her eyes and there stood Damien with a 500x super- soaker. Damien smiled, "sorry Miss Yuy, I didn't notice you were sleeping. Here let me dry that off." "Damien you're such a hentai," Relena sighed. She closed her eyes but soon she felt the gaze of 5 men plus a boy. She opened her eyes and there they were, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei and the brains of the operation Heero and Damien. Relena looked around at all of them. "Um…what are you doing?" she asked. All of them pulled out 700x super- soakers and aimed at her chest. They all fired at once making her chest completely soaked. "AHH!!! QUIT IT!!!" Relena whined. She was now soaked in her upper area and completely confused. Then they all took out a piece of paper towel and said, "Let me dry that off eh?" Relena jumped up and ran away from them, "YOU'RE ALL PERVERTED KISAMAS!!!!" They all ran after her holding their paper towels. Heero called out, "THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD RELENA!!!!!!" Relena had just remembered…they were here for 2 weeks…2 week of this? This was too much for a woman… 


End file.
